


Get in Tune With Sailor Moon

by orphan_account



Category: Cracked: After Hours
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Hand Jobs, M/M, Parody, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 03:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9366410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Soren has muscles. Daniel has schnapps, and Katie and Michael have a theory.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I really wrote this for you guys.

“Oh, god.” said Daniel, his eyes wide, framed by the thick black rims of his glasses. They made him look like one of the sweet, big-titted anime girls that posed on the posters decorating his walls.

  
“Don’t talk.” Soren grunted at him, and Daniel watched his extremely buff and ripped forearms as they clenched and flexed to the motion of his fist pumping lil’ Dan. “It makes it weird.”

  
“That’s what makes it weird?” Daniel asked incredulously, but he was wriggling his hips closer to Soren with every word. His voice sounded even higher and tighter this time around, and Soren’s forehead glistened with sweat. Manly sweat. He only groaned in response.

  
That’s alright. Dan would just pretend it had been a rhetorical question. He let his head fall back, slamming into the bathroom wall. It felt cool against his skin, a sharp contrast to the slim, heated line Soren left pressed against him.

  
“You should do me.” Soren said, all in a rush. Dan’s hand began to move automatically, strong arms unclenching from Soren’s hips where they’d latched on unconsciously. “I mean, we can’t have long before they start to miss us.”

  
“Yeah, I know.” Dan said. Soren acted tough, but his hips pressed eagerly into Dan’s hands, cock bumping hungrily into his palm while he slipped his belt open, and undid his fly. Soren kept his head down, shading the pale blue of his eyes from view.

  
Dan was used to that too.

  
“Fuck.” Soren mumbled, breathless, like he couldn’t help it. Dan licked a flat wide stripe on his own palm before shoving anther hasty hand between them. Soren groaned at the feeling, and Daniel used his weight to push Soren up against the stall door, his back slamming into it with a thud.

  
“If you want.” Dan said, hard and fast against his ear, all in a warm, peach schnapps rush. His hand was still steadily pulling at Soren, with a little twist at the head, almost like Soren did to himself, at home, under the hot spray of his shower.

  
“Daniel...” He said, and he sounded wrecked, his voice strained with effort. “Daniel...!”

  
“Stop, I’m-” And then Soren felt hot, wet spurts of come hit his exposed abs and the head of his cock. Daniel panted over him, his glasses fogging along the bottom of the frame with each exhale.

  
“I’ll pay for the dry-cleaning?” Daniel offered sheepishly, and Soren sighed, rolling his eyes and popping his neck before leaning casually back against the door.

  
“Whatever. Just get down there and finish me off, slave.”

  
“ ‘Es, ‘ir.” Daniel said, around a mouthful, but not nearly all of Soren’s hard, thick cock.

  
:

  
“Think Soren and Daniel are fucking in the bathroom again?” Michael asked through a mouthful of bread sticks.

  
Katie sighed, kicking Soren’s chair irritably. Her lipstick looked, predictably, perfect and yet quirky enough for any social arena, and here she was stuck in this diner. Again.

  
“Definitely. You’d think the secrecy and fear of public exposure would at least make them. Hurry. Up.”

  
“Or maybe-” Michael said, getting that brilliant light in his eyes that meant another good idea. “Maybe they take longer, because deep down, they’re hoping we’ll question them. You know, finally bring their hot, sweaty, man-love to light.”

  
“This is why we keep having to change restaurants.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Order a milkshake with [two straws](honeyedlion.tumblr.com). It's what you do in a diner.


End file.
